...you spend a good part of the day panicking because you suddenly realized that any day now you could be going into LABOR (and what the hell were you thinking, wanting to give birth, anyway, that's going to HURT LIKE HELL!), and then leave the doctor's office in tears because, after two weeks of contractions, you're not even starting to dilate yet.
Let's just say I'm having a bad day. Everything's fine, Caitlyn's doing great (and, while the nurse didn't measure her at my weekly non-stress test, she did say she is a "good size baby"). My doctor started talking induction, and I'm still 11 days from my due date. As in "I hope I don't have to induce you, especially if you're not ready yet, because that just makes things difficult." Not that he's ready to actually schedule it yet or anything, but obviously he thinks things should be moving in a forward direction by now, too. I left the clinic with a post-due-date doctor and non-stress test appointment, whereas before my last one was supposed to be next Tuesday.
By the time I got home, I just couldn't keep it in any longer and begged hubby for a big hug and started crying. Gotta give him kudos - he didn't get mad at me for being all emotional like he sometimes does, and even tried to help me see the bright side if I *do* have to be induced - like, I'll know when, and I'll have my doctor (because if you go on your own you get whoever's on call at the hospital, but if he has to induce my doctor will schedule it when he's there), and I'll definitely know for sure when I finally get to leave work (since I've been ready for that for a while now!).
Don't get me wrong, I haven't begun to reach the "desperation point" where I just want to rip her out myself. I didn't sleep well last night, so I'm overly tired today which makes me overly emotional even when I'm NOT just shy of nine months pregnant!
I think it's because I'm a planner and a prepper. We've been all but ready for a while now - I've been wrapping things up at work for about six weeks, the nursery is nearly finished (and if we just buckled down and did it, it would be done in a couple of hours), the baby laundry is all done, the freezer is full, the car seat is installed, and we're just waiting. Just waiting. Twiddling my thumbs, so to speak. This is why I didn't set a date to leave work, much as I'm ready to be done. At least it's a distraction.
Who knows...maybe I should make hubby take me to the beach for a day this weekend...