As the new year approaches, I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I want to actually make a resolution this year. Yes, it's always good to start fresh with new goals for a new year, but at the same time it feels like so much pressure. And I never finish them once I start them, so what's the point?
This year, however, I am inspired. It came to me the other evening, when my daughter and I were on our way back from a day of skiing and sledding with my dad. All the way home, she begged me to climb into the back seat of the car and snuggle up with her. I couldn't do it, as there was no place for me to sit. Then, when we got back to my parents house, she begged me to snuggle up with her again. But dinner was ready, and we didn't do it. That night at home, as she was watching a Fresh Beat Band episode I'd already heard about a million times (at least it feels that way most days), she begged me to come and watch it with her. I told her no, I could hear it fine from where I was (at the computer, playing my silly little Facebook games).
Late that night I was lying in bed when it suddenly hit me. All she wanted, all afternoon, was to be close to me. And I didn't give her that. My heart sank. I crept into her room and watched her sleep for a bit, tears in my eyes. Then I gave her a gentle kiss and went to bed.
There's a lot of negativity in the world today. Every time we turn around, there's another horrible and heartbreaking story in the news. I can't do much about that. But I can do everything in my power to make my little corner of the world a little brighter, a little snugglier, and a lot more pleasant. And that is why my resolution for 2013 is to be more present. To pay attention more. To focus less on what's happening on this screen and more on what's happening in my living room.
To start a gratitude journal here on this blog, and encourage my little one to think about what she's grateful for on a regular basis. To let her help me more, even if it means a ton more work for me. To play more games, and watch more mind-numbing cartoons - without a laptop on my lap or an iPod in my hands.
To really listen to my husband, and be more in tune with his moods and needs. To make what he asks for for dinner, as soon as possible, even if it means more prep work in the mornings (because he likes the foods that take hours to make). To make more one-on-one time for us during the week. To do more of the little things that make him happy.
To make more time for myself outside of the internet. To focus on becoming the best, healthiest me I can be.
I don't have to resolve to clean my house, or to be more budget conscious, or to lose weight. Because if I am simply more present in my every day life, these things will fall into place on their own, right where they should be.
And now I have a little girl who just got up after a 13 hour sleep and needs dry sheets and a snuggle.
What will you do to change your little corner of the world in 2013?