Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted anything. Oh well, guess it's been a busy summer!
So Larry and I are trying to get pregnant. It's been since October, so I guess that's, what, 10 months now? Not too long in the overall scheme of things, but way too long when you're 32, you've wanted kids your whole life, you've been waiting FOREVER for the opportunity to arise, and it seems like everyone around you is pregnant (disclaimer - I'm completely thrilled for everyone I know who is pregnant, because everyone I know who is pregnant really wanted to be pregnant, and will be a fabulous parent. I'm just jealous as hell. It's perfectly normal!).
My whole life I've been convinced that if I so much as looked cross-wise at a guy, I'd get pregnant. I can't begin to imagine how much trouble I've avoided simply because I believed in the hyper-fertility of all women. I once had a friend who got pregnant the first time she slept with a guy. Then she got pregnant twice more without really trying. That just reinforced my thinking, I'm sure!
Well, not me. I can't get pregnant. Which is annoying as hell. Not without medical intervention, anyway. They tell me I have PCOS. Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I don't ovulate. My cycles are whacky, whacky, whacky. I also have polyps in my uterus. This apparently explains why my periods run 14 – 18 days. Funny how I always thought that was normal. I wonder how long those have been in there? There are lots of things I thought were normal, that apparently aren't – pain, cramps, vicious wild mood swings, I'm a hormonal mess!
The polyps will be removed in September. I'm trying hard not to think about the fact that the doctor scared the holy hell out of me when he gave me the “warning” lecture. Let's not think about cerebral edema, pulmonary edema, punctured bladder, punctured uterus (oh, and the electrical burns I read about on the internet. Let's definitely not think about those). It's going to be a perfectly normal, routine surgery. And I'll be home in a few hours, resting comfortably and watching The Waltons on DVD. Yep, I think that would be good recuperation programming!
Anyway, after the polyps, I should be good to go. Just a few more drugs ought to cover it. I'm a walking pharmacy. Blood pressure medication, metformin for my PCOS, and probably some Clomid to boot because I'm still not ovulating, even with the metformin. Clomid means I could have twins. That would be fine by me...we're only planning to have two, so if it's this difficult with the first one we may as well save ourselves the trouble and get it done in one fell swoop, right?
In preparation for my surgery, I had to get a shot last week that put me into temporary menopause. I'll have to get one more before the surgery date arrives. I had my first hot flash this morning. Guess this is a sign of things to come. Man, that was uncomfortable! I thought it was 1,000 degrees in the kitchen when I got up this morning, though Larry assured me it was a comfortable temperature. Wow. I thought I was going to melt into the floor! Fortunately I only have to do two months of that right now. I should eat some soy...
All in all, it's been a heart-wrenching process so far. I really can't wait till it all becomes worth it and I hold that little bundle of joy in my arms...