Wait, WHEN does life happen???

Dear 76 Gasoline Ad Executives,

I can't take it anymore. Your ad campaign is driving me crazy, causing me to yell at the radio/television and make others think I've gone off the deep end. Therefore, a correction:

Life, in fact, DOES NOT happen between empty and full. Well, I suppose a miniscule part of life happens between empty and full, but not all those big exciting life-changing moments you describe in your commercials.

The only thing that happens between empty and full is that we're sitting around, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for the gas station attendants to stop picking their noses and horsing around and come over and top off our tanks. Yes, that's right, I live in Oregon, one of the two states in the Union where the voters still think they're incapable of pumping their own gas. But I digress.

Life, in fact, happens between FULL and EMPTY. *That's* when we're out driving around. That's when young boys are taking young girls to the prom. That's when expectant parents are rushing to the hospital for the joyous delivery of their precious little one. That's when we go to the beach, the mountains, the Grand Canyon. That's when life happens.

You might want to change your commercials.